I Understand

I Understand

I understand the need
to shut away those thoughts
I understand the why
of balancing my traits
I understand the impulse to
show only my good side since
parts of me should remain
in darkness so
I can be a better person.

I try to keep my secrets
Then I feel such guilt
I don't know if you want it all--
my envy for ambition, beauty, creativity
rampant thoughts from my radiant imagination
the desire for all your attention
shame when I fail
I do not want it.

But even when
buried they
sprout roots and leaves
The things I'm trying to
keep unto myself
may grow
uncontrollably.

by Marsha Salerno
2020